Chocolate madness

I don't know Saskia Griffith, the recently fired Banks Calendar Girl. I'm sorry I don't, because I would slap her upside the head and ask her what in the tacky, male-fantasy hell she was thinking. Actually, while I'm at it I would slap the four idiots in pink who were part of that whole display, as well as Power x Four, at whose party this whole mess took place.

Girlfriend let someone convince her that it was okay to sit toplesss in a kiddie pool of chocolate while other women dipped strawberries and marshmallows in it. The fact that Saskia was representing a company (Banks Breweries) who might have a big problem with that scenario didn't enter her head. Granted, she looks so spaced out in the photos that I'm wondering if she even knew what was happening.

Now, I ain't no Banks Breweries apologist, 'cause that whole Banks Calendar thing is just soft porn erotica if you ask me. My major beef is with stupid-as-hell women who keep letting down the gender. I get so blue vex when I see women allowing themselves to be placed in compromising situations.

And this latest scene is just the straw that broke the camel's back. When I see young girls parading around in what looks like their underwear at parties and on the streets I feel like smacking the black off them. Our ancestral women, black white or yellow, didn't fight for equality of the sexes so that today's females could make exhibitions of themselves. It's hard for women to gain the respect of men as it is, so when they go around acting like hos they're making things hard for all of us.

Considering yourself equal to a man isn't a licence to try to outdo the 'village rams' out there. For heaven's sake, pull wunna selves together. And Saskia, if you're walking down Broad Street and some woman comes up and gives you a smack in the back of the head, I wuz there.

Final poll results + new poll on Jamaica's elections

Last week's poll was almost split evenly, with 55% of voters disagreeing with the immediate relatives of leaders of Governement being appointed to government posts. Forty-four per cent of persons saw nothing wrong with such persons being appointed.

Well, we'll see how things turn out in St. Vincent, though I have a feeling this will come back to bite PM Ralph Gonsalves in the butt.

This week, we'll stay on the regional tip and focus on the election campaign in Jamaica. The recent debate between the People National Party's Portia Simpson-Miller and the Jamaica Labour Party's Bruce Golding was televised last night on CBC TV8. From what I saw, Bruce sounded more authoritative and was somehow able to defend his party and sympathise with the PNP at the same time.

Ms. Portia gave him a lot of opportunities to score some cheap political points but the JLP leader stuck to the high road for the most part. And why was the poor woman looking so mummified for most of the debate? She must have been warned not to let Bruce draw her tongue. She has to be careful about trying to make herself synonymous with the PNP, though, and building her campaign on how much the people "love" her. Political administrations built on the charisma of a leader only work if the leader is in office. St. Lucia's United Workers' Party may become a case in point soon.

This week's poll question is "Who would do a better job as Prime Minister of Jamaica?" As usual, the vote buttons are in the sidebar.

Tuesday links

Tropical Depression #4 headed our way
Hartley Reid makes me laugh
Lara's niece kidnapped
More on Obama
Is he for real?
This is a very bad idea

Graphic: Weather Underground, Caribbean360.com

Top 10 richest countries in the Caribbean

I came across an article on Caribbean Net News about the top 10 richest countries in the Caribbean, and I went across to check out Canadian website Aneki.com, who compiled the rankings.

The rankings are based on each country's Gross Gross Domestic Product (GDP) per capita. GDP is the monetary value of all the finished goods and services produced within a country's borders in a specific time period, and is usually calculated on an annual basis.

It includes all of private and public consumption, government outlays, investments and exports less imports that occur within a defined territory.

The Top 10 are:

10. Grenada ($ 3,900 GDP per capita)

St. Georges
www.destination360.com

9. Cuba ($ 3,900 GDP per capita)

Havana
www.destination360.com

8. Jamaica ($ 4,600 GDP per capita)

Dunn's River Falls
www.ultimatetaxi.com

7. Saint Lucia ($ 4,800 GDP per capita)

The magnificent Pitons
www.cep.unep.org

6. Dominican Republic ($ 8,000 GDP per capita)

Property development
www.drliferealestate.com

5. Saint Kitts and Nevis ($ 8,200 GDP per capita)

The peninsula in south-east St. Kitts. Nevis is on the left.
http://en.wikipedia.org

4. Antigua and Barbuda ($ 10,900 GDP per capita)

English Harbour

3. Barbados ($ 18,200 GDP per capita)

Cattlewash, St. Joseph

2. Trinidad and Tobago ($ 19,700 GDP per capita)

Capital city Port of Spain by night
www.strangeattractor.org

1. The Bahamas ($ 21,300 GDP per capita)

Nassau Harbour
www.yellow-spings.k12.oh.us

More Grand Kadooment pics

As promised, here are a few more photos from Monday's Grand Kadooment, which saw thousands of revellers parading from the National Stadium to the Spring Garden Highway. Thanks again to Mark and also to Toni, who was visiting from England. Have a safe trip back, girl!


A mass of 'soca junkies' chip down the road to Spring Garden.


They don't look too happy....


I hope that rope's strong enough to contain them....


Local soca stars Krosfyah entertained the masses on the road.


They were obviously enjoying Krosfyah's Bashment Bacchanal.


Despite the rain, thousands streamed towards the climax of Grand Kadooment on the Spring Garden Highway.


If you're already wet why not go for a seabath, right?

Thursday links

Barbados bans animal products from Britain
First Caribbean offering 100% financing
Neal & Massy moving to take over BS&T
BS&T's other two suitors aren't giving up
Class war on between MySpace and Facebook?
Visa holdup for Asafa Powell
Tiger tries his hand at designing a golf course

Photo of Asafa Powell: www.cwwwionline.com

The Obamas bring style to Capitol Hill

United States Senator and presidential candidate Barack Obama is not only making an impression on the campaign trail with his political astuteness, but he's also placing his stamp on the fashion world.

The man I hope will be the next U.S. President was recently listed fourth on Esquire Magazines's Best Dressed Men in the World list of 2007.

However, Mr. Presidential hopeful isn't the only Obama making a best dressed list. His wife Michelle recently made it on to Vanity Fair’s best dressed list. In addition to being the mother of two girls, Malia and Sasha, Mrs. Obama is a graduate of Princeton and Harvard and vice president for community and external affairs at the University of Chicago Hospital.

Isn't this a portrait of the perfect First Family? Fingers and toes crossed!


On a related note, Karel at Caribbean PR blog came across an interesting story on a proud supporter of Barack Obama. The supporter has good taste, what can I say?

Also, for the latest on the presidential primary campaign trail, click here.

Photos: www.nationalclergycouncil.org; http://chicagobusiness.com; www.abovethelaw.com

Rihanna scores four VMA nominations

Congrats to Rihanna, who has been nominated for four MTV Video Music Awards! (All the news outlets are saying five but I only counted four.)
Rihanna joined other celebrities such as Timbaland, Kanye West, Robin Thicke and Chris Brown to announce the nominations yesterday.

Justin Timberlake and Beyoncé led the group of nominees, each with seven nominations. Other multiple nominees are Kanye West with five nominations and newcomer Amy Winehouse with three.

Rihanna was nominated in the following categories:
Female Artist of the Year - she'll come up against Beyoncé, Amy Winehouse, Nelly Furtado and Fergie. Tough category indeed.

Monster Single of the Year - for Umbrella featuring Jay-Z. She stands a good chance here. After all, the man with the Midas touch is with her on this!

Video of the Year - for Umbrella featuring Jay-Z. Her competitors are Amy Winehouse's Rehab; Justin Timberlake's What Goes Around; Kanye West's Stronger and Beyoncé's Irreplaceable. I haven't seen all these videos, but I think she can beat Beyoncé for sure. Justin's video/movie, I'm not so sure.

Best Director - for Umbrella, directed by Chris Applebaum. Another good chance to cop an award. The video was slick and tightly directed.

If anyone can find the fifth nomination the news sites keep referring to, let me know.

The MTV VMAs Awards Show will air live from the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas on Sunday, September 9 @ 9PM ET/PT on MTV. Performers will include Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, Amy Winehouse, Chris Brown, the Foo Fighters and Rihanna (hopefully she'll be recovered from her broken toe).


For the full list of nominees, click here.

Best of luck, Rihanna!

Photo: Rihanna poses with (l-r) Timbaland, Kanye West, Robin Thicke and Chris Brown after announcing the 2007 MTV VMAs.

Rihanna's injured ankle and maybe boyfriend

What has our fave international music export been up to while we were wining away for Crop Over? I mentioned last week that she had injured her leg, and some sites are reporting that she might have broken her ankle. Ouch!
(Update: apparently it's her toe that's broken, not her ankle.)

That isn't stopping our girl from making the rounds though, and she was out and about recently:

She attended Paper Magazine's party to celebrate her August 2007 cover.


She made it out to dinner with friends.


And took in Beyonce's concert at Madison Square Garden.

You all know it was only a matter of time before Rihanna was linked to someone in the music business. Several blogs have been hinting at her friendship with various singers, and Natasha at Young, Black and Fabulous (who usually knows what's really going on) felt positive enough to post photos of Rihanna and a familiar face...


Omarion, of B2K fame. These pictures are on his myspace page.

Denials are in effect, so we'll see. Omarion seems pretty cool, no baby mama-groupie-drug-gang-banging drama reported on him as far as I know. Anyhoo, bad girls need love too, right?

Kadooment Day pics

As promised, here are the first set of photos from yesterday's Kadooment festivities. Thanks to Mark for being our eyes on the road!


Some members of the Blue Box Cart band as they chip past Combermere School. I wonder what the lady in green is searching for?


Salt is essential in any dish, and it was also essential on the road.


I was wondering who on earth jumps while carrying an umbrella...until I saw her hair. That work of art can't afford to get wet!


These ladies were smart and remembered to stay hydrated...though I have a feeling that ain't water in all those cups...


The family that plays together, stays together. I see you, cuz and wife!


The sun didn't shine much yesterday, so this band filled in for it.

More pics to come later!

Soca Junkie rules the road

Well, well. I underestimated the power of Mr. Dale's tune Soca Junkie. I thought it would have been too slow for the road, but the bands spoke and Soca Junkie won this year's Tune-of-the-Crop, followed by Li'l Rick's Can't Wait and Tick Tock.

This has been a great year for Mr. Dale. He took second place in the Party Monarch Competition and then copped first place in the People's Monarch and Tune-of-the-Crop competitions. Congrats again, Mr. Dale!

Photo: Mr. Dale (center) celebrates his Tune-of-the-Crop win with supporters in his Deacons community.
www.nationnews.com

Happy Independence Day, Jamaica! + Barrington returns home

Today, Jamaica celebrates its 45th Anniversary of Independence, and I would like to extend best wishes to the citizens of that beautiful country. I have nothing but fond memories of my year there and I wish Jamaicans all the best as they move into Nomination Day tomorrow and elections later in the month.

Click here to see which eminent citizens were bestowed Jamaica's fourth highest National Honour - the Order of Jamaica.


On a related note, Jamaican-born aviator, Captain Barrington Irving Jr., who recently made history as the youngest and first black pilot to fly solo around the world, returned to Jamaica last Friday.

According to Caribbean Net News, Irving was invited to Jamaica by Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller, after his successful historic aviation voyage, which took him across four continents over 97 days.

The 23-year old Irving, who will be in the island for a four-day official visit, arrived to a hero's welcome by a party of officials from the Government and the Opposition, local aviation interests, a wide representation of young Jamaicans, and hundreds of excited onlookers.

See the rest of the story here. Here at Cheese-on-bread we've been tracking his progress for a while, and if you want to see photos from his flight around the world, visit www.experienceaviation.org. Good job, Barrington!

Photo of Jamaican flag: www1.ocn.ne.jp
Photo of Captaim Irving (right) receiving the key to the City of Montego Bay by Mayor of Montego Bay, Counsellor Noel Donaldson: www.caribbeannetnews.com

Final Poll results

Our first poll is now closed, and in the end, 62% of voters thought that the Party Monarch should have been halted in light of the tragic accident in Joe's River, and 37% thought the should show should have continued. I'm sure discussion on this matter will continue for a while.

For this week's poll, I'm taking the focus a little wider to our neighbouring island of St. Vincent. I read a few days ago that St. Vincent's Prime Minister, Dr. Ralph Gonsalves, has appointed his son, 35 year-old Camillo Gonsalves as the Ambassador to the United Nations. Remember when Trinidadian PM Patrick Manning appointed his wife Education Minister?

This week's poll question is: Should the immediate relatives of leaders of Government be appointed to government posts?

The vote buttons are in the sidebar.

Pic o' de Crop Finals review

Happy Kadooment Day, peoples! It's raining but that isn't dampening the spirits of the thousands who're wining and wukking their way down to Spring Garden. Actually, it's a blessing in disguise 'cause if today was as hot as yesterday revellers would be dropping like flies. I hope to have some pics up for you tomorrow.

Well, the Pic o' de Crop Finals have come and gone and it was quite an interesting show. My Top 5 was almost correct, with the final result being:
1. Red Plastic Bag
2. Blood
3. Kid Site
4. De Announcer
5. Smokey Burke

Adrian Clarke placed sixth; Sheldon Hope seventh; eighth was Enobong; TC placed ninth and in tenth place was Rommel.

Here's my review of the 10 competitors:

Rommel - Although he talked rather than sang his way through the Finals, you got the impression Rommel still invested a lot of effort in his two performances. His portrayal of West Indies cricket as an Animal Farm was effective, although his lyrics were a tad rudimentary. At least Rommel can say he made it to the Finals.

TC - TC replaced Calypso Music with What's Wrong?, and that was the question I asked myself all night. I have never seen a calypsonian fight so hard to come last. She should be lucky Rommel's songs weren't the strongest or she would have succeeded too!

First of all, she opted to perform in a nightgown rather than the finery we've come to expect on Finals night. (Her opening skit explained why she chose to do that, but still!) Then, she pulled a Malik and sang behind a stationary microphone, instead of working the stage. The fact that the lyrics of What's Wrong? consisted of her begging the judges for the crown didn't help either.

TC girl, make up your mind what you want. You're a talented entertainer, but you and competitions ain't working out. Forget judging and just come and sing for the masses.

Enobong - Enobong was the pleasant surprise of the night for me, since before Finals night I hadn't heard her material. She had a powerful voice, she held your attention and her lyrics were strong. How she came eighth I don't know, but she shouldn't be disheartened at all. Good job, Enobong!

Sheldon Hope - I had high hopes for Sheldon because I knew he was a powerful vocalist and a dynamic perfomer. He delivered on both counts, but his material was difficult to follow. Not a bad effort, though.

Adrian Clarke - AC will always be one of my favourite calypsonians, but he was missing something this year. I hope he finds it soon.

Smokey Burke - I'm happy, though surprised, that Smokey placed so well in the competition. He's always the underdog in the Finals, and I swear every year something goes wrong for him. (Remember last year his props didn't show up?)

This year, CBC did not broadcast his performance of All Politicians Is Friends (the truth sometimes hurts, eh?) on the advice of their lawyers, and his other song Catastrophe was, in my opinion, aptly named.
Smokey is so resilient I expect he'll be back in the competititon next year. You have to respect that kind of perseverance.

De Announcer - Another performer whose voice isn't the sweetest, De Announcer was still dynamic enough to capture a top spot. He didn't look too pleased when he heard he came fourth, though...

Kid Site - The defending Monarch also fell victim to CBC's fear of litigation, so his song Ah Frighten was not broadcast. Both that song and the other entitled My Barbados had familiar sounding melodies, but were entertaining nonetheless. Kid Site could perform the phonebook if required, so I knew he would place well.

Blood - His performing pedigree is so high that it was no surprise that Blood was the one standing next to RPB in the end. I missed For the Children (sleep claimed me...no fault of his), but Calypso Owes You Nothing had such a stirring melody and powerful lyrics I knew he could make it on that song alone. That's the song that stayed with me the next day, and I feel it will have a longer shelf life than many of the others in the competition.


Red Plastic Bag - As expected, RPB created history and captured the Calypso Monarch crown for the eighth time, and deservedly so. The NCF must be thanking its lucky stars that he came back to the competition, because all his St. Philip fans turned out in their numbers. Congrats, Bag!

Photos: top - 2007 Calypso Monarch Stedson 'RPB' Wiltshire greets fans
bottom: RPB fans turn the National Stadium into a sea of red
www.nationnews.com

Fave Crop Over tunes and festival picks

Well, just three more days to go before Jump Up Day, as Li'l Rick calls it. Hope everyone is enjoying the Festival so far and let's pray that as Crop Over winds down there'll be no more tragedies.

To those overseas, Kadooment Day (Aug. 6) is a must-see, so next year make sure you don't miss out on all the fun!

Anyhoo, here's a list of my Top 10 fave soca tunes rocking the airwaves at the moment. Persons overseas can listen online at www.hott953.com or www.cbc.bb.


10) Jumping - RPB
RPB ain't letting these young bucks get away with doing all the party tunes. He sticks right in there with them and you gotta admire him for that.

9) Sweat - Hypasounds
I don't know much about this team but they consistently bring quality music to the festival. Take note, other new acts.

8) Me and You - Don Trent
Another relative newbie on the Crop Over scene. He knows how to work a crowd and he's very popular with the ladies for sure.

7) Ya Sweet - RPB
He can teach Madonna a thing or two about reinvention. He might be doing this for 25 years but he's still relevant and fresh. Again, take a note, new performers.

6) Pumpin' - Peter Ram
The 'Rammer' never ceases with the sweet tunes. Although I can't understand half of what he's saying sometimes, his beats are tight.

5) Sweat - Kimberley & Keanne
An unbeatable combination. Kimberley where you hiding, girl?

4) Where I Wanna Be - Edwin
The General's really smoking this year. I've always been more of a 'ragamuffin' but he's making a 'yardie' outa me. Old Square One and Krosfyah fans would understand what I mean.

3) Feels Like (I'm Home Again) - Edwin
Another sweet tune from the Krosfyah front man. He'll have you swaying and singing along to this one for sure.

2) Bashment Bacchanal - Khiomal
I think Khiomal is finally coming out of Edwin's shadow and stamping his mark on the festival. Bashment Bacchanal's going to tear up the road, and I suspect Labour Day and Trinidad as well.

1) Soca Junkie - Mr. Dale
What can I say. Mr. Dale's having a great year. Congrats, Dale and fiat lux!

My picks for the Tune of the Crop are:
Can't Wait - Li'l Rick.
Bashment Bacchanal - Khiomal
Where I Wanna Be - Edwin w/Krosfyah
As much as I would like to include Soca Junkie (haha) I think it'll be too slow for the road. But, you never know.

Other possible contenders are RPB's Jumping, Mikey and Lorenzo's C.L.A.P., and Mac Fingall's Move Out de Road.

In terms of tonight's Pic 0' de Crop Final, well...that's pretty open to a certain extent. Although I wouldn't bet on it, 'cause some strange things happen in that competition, I would say the top 5, in random order, should be:
RPB
Kid Site
Blood
De Announcer
TC
I have Sheldon Hope as the dark horse. Tomorrow let's see how close I come to the actual standings.

Well, peoples, have a great weekend and a safe Kadooment Day. Don't drink and drive, remember to drink plenty of fluids if you're going to be in the sun, and don't jump out of any planes without a parachute. You know what I mean.

Photo of Krosfyah: http://img9.imagshack.us

Pic o' de Crop feature: RPB & Kid Site

'The Red Plastic Bag'. 'The Bag'. 'RPB'. 'The Lyrical Master'. Stedson Wiltshire almost has as many sobriquets as he has calypso monarch crowns - seven in all. This year he celebrates his 25th Anniversary in the calypso arena, and what more fitting way to mark that milestone than by winning an eighth Pic o' de Crop crown tonight?
Representing Bacchanal Time Calypso Tent, he will be singing Bajans Can't See and Look Meh Hey.


Defending Pic o' de Crop Monarch David 'Kid Site' Piggott has three crown under his belt, and, according to news reports, he fully expects to take home a fourth consecutive Pic-O-De-Crop crown when he faces the judges at the National Stadium tonight. Kid Site is a big night man, so anything's possible.
He will be performing My Barbados and Ah Frighten and will represent Bacchanal Time Calypso Tent.


Best of luck to all the contestants!

Photos: www.justbajan.com; www.nationnews.com

Congrats, Mr. Dale!

Cheese-on-bread sends congrats to soca artiste Dale 'Mr. Dale' Rudder, whose Soca Junkie triumphed yesterday over Nard's Tempo to win the People's Monarch competition. Enjoy the Mazda 3, Dale!

Thanks to all of you who voted!

Photo: Mr. Dale, (in driver's seat) waves to crowd. The other People's Monarch finalist, Nard, is seated in the back.
www.nationnews.com

NCF has serious competition + Pic o' de Crop Feature: TC & Blood

With Crop Over in full swing, you can't turn on a radio without hearing an ad for some fete or show. More often than not, the organisers of these events aren't the National Cultural Foundation (NCF), but a private group such as a sports club or band. This new state of affairs is benefitting partygoers, the NCF not so much.

Here's my list of the (relatively) new fete organisers and shows I've noticed on the Crop Over scene. If I missed anyone, please add them in the comments.

1) Baje International Band

Photo: www.baje-intl.com
Back when Power x Four was more popular with the 20-plus crowd, Baje International was considered a tad 'bougie', but the combination of pretty girls and handsome guys in costume and soca artiste Rupee leading the charge was bound to catch on. Two weeks ago they held the first Collision fete featuring Machel Montano, and if the rave reviews are anything to go by, it will be an annual event.


Photo: http://bergerboyz.com
2) Berger Boyz
Known for their exciting theme parties and popular cruises, the Berger Boyz are the promoters behind some of the most exciting fetes of the season, the prime one being the 10 to 10 or Insomnia fete. Check them out here.

3) Campus Boyz
More than a costume band, the Campus Boyz has established an educational bursary and are planning their own customer advantage card. They're not just businessmen, they're a business, man! See them here.

4) Brewsters Road Crew
Where is Brewster's Road? I still don't know, but their fetes are really popular!
Update: According to Cheese reader titilayo, Brewster's Road is near Westbury Road, St. Michael

5) Wadadah
Wadadah started out as a group of friends, developed into sports club focusing on football and cricket and finally evolved into a business. They’re involved heavily in charity work for the homeless, beach cleanups, donations and other charitable projects. Good going, Wadadah!

Other popular shows and fetes are:
1) Bacchanal Time vs. the Best of Crop Over
2) Glow
3) Booze Cruise
4) Euphoria
5) Soca on de Hill
6) Brian Lara's all-inclusive fete


Pic o' de Crop Feature


Terencia 'TC' Coward has for years been dubbed the People's Queen, but she's yet to make it a reality on Finals night. The consumate performer, TC always seems to run into difficulties on the big night. Hopefully she'll have better luck on Friday. Representing Bacchanal Time Calypso Tent, she will be performing Calypso Music and I is a Bajan.


Anderson 'Blood' Armstrong was born to perform. The former lead vocalist for the mega group Square One is no stranger to this competition; he was the youngest person to make the Finals, appearing in 1985 at the age of 17.

With a sweet voice and a dynamic stage presence, he has more than an outside chance of taking the crown. Hailing from Headliners Calypso Tent, he will be performing Calypso Owes You Nothing and For the Children.

Update on poll

So far, 75% of voters think that last Sunday's Party Monarch should have been halted in light of the tragic accident in Joe's River. Have your say, check the sidebar under the photo and vote. Three more days of voting left!

Vote for Mr. Dale for People's Monarch!

I don't usually publicly endorse persons in competitions but I'm making an exception for local calypsonian Mr. Dale, whose Soca Junkie is competing against Nard's Tempo in today's final of the People's Monarch competition.
The winner of "People's Monarch 2007" will receive a new Mazda 3 from McEnearney.

I like Nard (he does say Cheese-on-bread in his song), but Mr. Dale is an old schoolmate and frankly, Soca Junkie sweet, sweet!

So, to vote send a text message with the name of the artiste (Mr. Dale)and song of your choice (Soca Junkie), via Digicel text services, to 8683. Each text costs 50 cents VAT Inclusive. Digicel Phones only!

OR if like me you have the other cell provider, visit www.vob929.com or www.hott953.com and fill out the online Peoples Monarch voting form.