Most of us can agree that tattoos seem to be the symbol of 'hipness' du jour. Old and young, Black and White are sporting tattoos of varying colours, styles and meanings. I have nothing against them personally, but I swear that some people just wake up and decide to get a tattoo without any proper thought of what they're permanently stamping on their bodies. Where they place these tattoos is another eyebrow raiser.
Anyhoo, I decided to come up with 10 do's and don'ts for sporting tattoos:
1. Do keep it simple, stupid! Thinking big is usually an admirable quality, but not necessarily when you're getting a tattoo. How many times have you seen an oversized lower back tattoo (also known as the 'tramp stamp') peering out from under a lady's top and wonder what the heck she was thinking? Simple is always better.
2. Don't tattoo your breasts! There are hundreds of women walking around Barbados right now with all kinds of designs on their chests, and I wonder if they know that gravity ain't a female's friend. Besides, that can't be good for the breasts at all.
3. Find out what tattoo symbols mean. That Sanskrit or Kanji symbol might look real cool on your shoulder blade or ankle, but I don't think you'd be too happy if you found out its meaning was 'moron'.
4. Don't get multiple, multi-coloured tattoos. This picture says it all. She looks like she was mutilated.
5. Don't place multiple tattoos on one limb, especially on a leg. It looks like you have a skin disease.
6. Women, please don't place tattoos on your upper arms, 'cause you look butch as wuh. Unless that's the look you're going for....
7. Never tattoo your boyfriend's/girlfriend's name on your body. Partners come and go but tattoos remain, unless you can afford painful laser surgery. Even the Tattoo Queen herself, Angelina Jolie, learnt this the hard way, erasing her ex-husband Billy Bob's name from her arm after their divorce. Don't tattoo your own name on yourself either. Unless you're in the habit of forgetting it....
8. Never tattoo curse words on your body. You'd think this was a given, but alas, no. Remember, you won't be a rebellious 20-something forever; at some point you might care what other people think of you.
9. No offence, but don't bother with a tattoo if your skin tone is very dark. The tattoos are barely visible and coloured tattoos on dark skin tones look extra weird.
10. Men, tattoos won't transform you instantly into a macho stud. There's nothing sadder than a guy with biceps like ping-pong balls with huge tats plastered on his arms. Try hitting the weight room instead.
Have a good weekend!
NB: It was not my intention to offend anyone with this post. It is done tongue-in-cheek and based on what I was seeing in my own country. I have nothing personal against tattoos, far from, actually. So get a grip, peoples!