Friday, August 17, 2007

Ten tattoo do's and don'ts

Most of us can agree that tattoos seem to be the symbol of 'hipness' du jour. Old and young, Black and White are sporting tattoos of varying colours, styles and meanings. I have nothing against them personally, but I swear that some people just wake up and decide to get a tattoo without any proper thought of what they're permanently stamping on their bodies. Where they place these tattoos is another eyebrow raiser.

Anyhoo, I decided to come up with 10 do's and don'ts for sporting tattoos:


www.tattoosunlimited.com
1. Do keep it simple, stupid! Thinking big is usually an admirable quality, but not necessarily when you're getting a tattoo. How many times have you seen an oversized lower back tattoo (also known as the 'tramp stamp') peering out from under a lady's top and wonder what the heck she was thinking? Simple is always better.


www.tattoos-by-design.co.uk
2. Don't tattoo your breasts! There are hundreds of women walking around Barbados right now with all kinds of designs on their chests, and I wonder if they know that gravity ain't a female's friend. Besides, that can't be good for the breasts at all.

www.transname.com
3. Find out what tattoo symbols mean. That Sanskrit or Kanji symbol might look real cool on your shoulder blade or ankle, but I don't think you'd be too happy if you found out its meaning was 'moron'.


www.ybf.blogspot.com
4. Don't get multiple, multi-coloured tattoos. This picture says it all. She looks like she was mutilated.


www.theglamourouslife.com
5. Don't place multiple tattoos on one limb, especially on a leg. It looks like you have a skin disease.


www.customdesigntattoos.net
6. Women, please don't place tattoos on your upper arms, 'cause you look butch as wuh. Unless that's the look you're going for....


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7. Never tattoo your boyfriend's/girlfriend's name on your body. Partners come and go but tattoos remain, unless you can afford painful laser surgery. Even the Tattoo Queen herself, Angelina Jolie, learnt this the hard way, erasing her ex-husband Billy Bob's name from her arm after their divorce. Don't tattoo your own name on yourself either. Unless you're in the habit of forgetting it....

8. Never tattoo curse words on your body. You'd think this was a given, but alas, no. Remember, you won't be a rebellious 20-something forever; at some point you might care what other people think of you.


www.bbc.co.uk
9. No offence, but don't bother with a tattoo if your skin tone is very dark. The tattoos are barely visible and coloured tattoos on dark skin tones look extra weird.


http://orangehoops.wordpress.com
10. Men, tattoos won't transform you instantly into a macho stud. There's nothing sadder than a guy with biceps like ping-pong balls with huge tats plastered on his arms. Try hitting the weight room instead.

Have a good weekend!

NB: It was not my intention to offend anyone with this post. It is done tongue-in-cheek and based on what I was seeing in my own country. I have nothing personal against tattoos, far from, actually. So get a grip, peoples!

208 comments:

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Anonymous said...

With the exception of rule #4 (multiple, multi-coloured tattoos), I wholeheartedly agree with you. I would also suggest disregarding any comment on this blog post in which a person has described you or the rules as "stupid". They are, it seems, either obsessed with tattoos or offended due to having previously broken one of the rules. C'est la vie, and all that jazz ; )

Unknown said...

Consider me!!! this is really very good.. Keep writing and I am sure we well get some great comments on this.
Consider me, it s going to get worse before it gets better!
Tattoos for Women

Anonymous said...

I think boob tatts are cool. I have a star tattoo on the top of my left breast.

Anonymous said...

All you hating tool bags who object to the opinionated rules of this original blogger, get a life. Most of those points were spot on. If you were offended, odds are you look ridiculous and the truth hurts. Sorry ladies, but if your covered in tats and I mean covered, odds are any guy or girl looking at you is more concerned about your last drug test then that winning personality of yours. I'm no hater of tattoos lets just clear that, I will be getting my own one day. But don't play the it's "art" card. Half the idiots I see with ink vomit all over them would struggle to even spell the three letter word. GROW UP, embrace criticism.

Unknown said...

Wow. Why would you write a whole blog about something you obviously know nothing about? That is your opinion, and that's cool. But 8 out of ten people will disagree with you. Tattoos are a great way for someone to express themselves and it is for them not you. So it is none of your business what they decide to do with their bodies. That's what's wrong with the internet; any uneducated idiot can write a blog.

Anonymous said...

Surely as long as you like your tattoo, you shouldn't give a damn about anyone else' opinion?

Anonymous said...

Where are the do's?

laurcaudbaking said...

Costs a lot of money to look this cheap

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